So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
