i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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