Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
