Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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