while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
