Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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