Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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