It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
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