I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Even my vagina gasped.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
