I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
