I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
