Cold hands, warm shart.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
