Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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