so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
