He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
