I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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