we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
