So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
