So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
