I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
