he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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