this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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