"it" just moved
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize
