I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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