Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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