I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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