Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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