Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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