So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
