I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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