currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
