somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
