Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
