Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
