okay pat passed out under dana's car
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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