Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
How does it feel to date your dad?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
