He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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