How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
