yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize