Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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