im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
