porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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