The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
