y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
