this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
