then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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