I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
