...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
