Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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