coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
