He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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