Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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