Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Randomize
