We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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