I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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