it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
