Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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