just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
