we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
