you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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