she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
