Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
