am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
