We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
