You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
