Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I need to calm my uterus...
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
