I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
