shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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