Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
