I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
