Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
