i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
